The petty details of the squid and the whale

The other night Shelley and I went to see a movie called "The Squid and the Whale". It was a rather candid look at parental influence, particularly in the face of divorce. The story centered on a pair of brothers, one who wants to be a writer like dad, and the other who wants to be a tennis pro. The parents aren't the nicest of people - mom has several affairs during the marriage, and dad is an emotionally abusive arrogant asshole (that's my opinion of him anyway). They are both PhD literary experts and the movie involves lots of discussion around "classic works" which was often quite funny. Anyway, it was interesting to watch these two boys experience the divorce, how they seemed to "pick sides", and how they each adopted certain traits from their parents. It was particularly interesting how they chose to also focus on the sexual journey of these boys - Frank, the youngest son, is just discovering himself and begins experimenting with alcohol and masterbation, while Walt, the eldest, struggles over the state of his first relationship with a girl. Neither parent seems able to give the boys the guidance they need during this and as such they end up getting into a bit of trouble.

I just finished a book called "The Petty Details of So-and-So's Life". This book also dealt with parental influence, this time focusing on a brother and sister and how they each cope with the disapearance of their mentally ill father and the resulting withdrawal and alcoholism of their mother. Despite having some rather humorous moments, the book touches on the issues of child abuse, sexual abuse, incest, homophobia, self-mutilation, mental illness and alcoholism. The story centers around Emma and Blue, siblings who took comfort in each other during their early years, hiding from the abuse of their father. When he leaves, each sibling deals with his absence in a different way. Emma continually tries to re-invent herself, creating new lives in which she doesn't have to deal with the facts of her true life. Eventually, of course, this catches up to her. Despite her sexual confusion and her fears that she will end up like her father, she manages to find happiness in her life. Blue, on the other hand, is constantly haunted by his father's abusive comments. He turns into a drug-addicted, rough-and-tough tattoo artist who spends considerable time trying to find his homeless father, and finds relief only in the saddest of ways at the end of the novel.

Anyway, it was interesting to read a book and see a movie that both dealth with a pair of siblings trying to grow up in less-than-ideal circumstances. Gave lots of food for thought....

Map of My World

I found this website where you can map out all of the countries you have visited. Here's what my map looks like:



create your own visited country map

Mind the wildlife

There's nothing like absolute darkness to make you feel like you are in the middle of nowhere. It fascinates me how you can arrive at your destination in the dark, completely unaware of your physical surroundings, and then wake up in the morning to find yourself amidst glorious mountains and lakes. This has been the story of my life this week. I am in the interior of BC for work, and have so far visited the towns of Trail, Cranbrook, Nelson and Penticton. It's only Thursday and I've already put over 1300km on the car!

On the first day, from Kelowna to Trail, I had to drive over a snow-filled, icy pass. I was white-knuckled the whole time and even had to turn off the music to allow complete concentration on the road. Then, on my way to Cranbrook, I drove over the highest pass in BC in complete darkness, and I was the only vehicle on the road. It was sooooo scary! I'm driving this puny little gutless Echo and I was sure I was going to slide right off the side of the mountain! Thankfully, I didn't.

When it came time to drive over to Nelson on Tuesday, I was in a slight state of panic because I didn't want to go over that damn pass again. I figured I tested my luck once already - I didn't need to do it again. So I went to the Visitors' Information Center in Creston, after an amazing small-town lunch, and asked for alternate ways of getting to Nelson. The lady at the desk said that I could only go over the pass if I had chains on the car. Well, the rental didn't come with chains, and even if it did, I wouldn't have a clue what to do with them. Besides, she said her husband worked for the fire department and had done several rescues that morning already, and that the pass would likely be closed later in the day. So, I had no choice but to go the looooooooong way. That was fine by me. It was a gorgeous drive around Kootenay Lake, and I got to take a ferry. So it was all good.

It took me about 5 minutes to realize that I loved Nelson and never, ever wanted to leave. The place is simply stunning. In a weird way it kind of reminded me of Rwanda - when you approach the city, you can see rows upon rows of houses terraced into the mountain, just like the farms and villages were in Rwanda. Anyway, Nelson has an Ashtanga yoga studio, several meditation centers, restaurants with catchy names, like The Treehouse which served vegan entrees and Night Train which claimed to serve "soul food". They had stores geared towards the "responsible consumer" and hemp stores galore. All this I found on a short walk in the evening. Add in all the amazing opportunities for hiking, and you've got paradise, as far as I'm concerned.

Anyway, morning came and I went to the hospital (half way up a mountain I might add) and finished my work, and then it was on the road again - this time to Penticton. The logical way to get there, according the map, was to retrace my steps. However, this required going over a flippin' pass again. My colleague at the hospital made some comment suggesting that I was brave, if not a little insane, to go over that pass. So I left the hospital, went to my trendy little car, and stared at the map, thinking that I had been brave enough on my first day of driving, and that there was really nothing wrong with choosing to drive several hours longer in order to avoid one hour of sheer terror. Besides, I shouldn't gamble with my life and limbs when I'm on the boss' money.

The drive, again, was beautiful. At least it was while the light lasted. By the time I came to yet another ferry ride across another lake, it was 5pm and therefore dark. I drove up and over another pass, although thankfully the snow chose to stay on the trees and not the roads. But, it was 107km, this trail around the mountain, and the speed limit was usually only 60km/h, sometimes even 20km/h on account of the windiness.

I must admit that I got a bit scared again. You know that you are truly in barren land when you can't even get CBC on am radio. I managed to keep my mind busy during those grueling 107km, mostly contemplating the wildlife in the area. I saw more deer and elk on that stretch than I had the rest of the trip! What I was trying to figure out was why they choose to dash to the far side of the road, and dangerously crossing my path, rather than hop back into the ditch they are standing right beside. It's a mystery. At least the animals kept me company. As did the signs on the road telling me to look out for them.