Words cannot describe how completely tortuous it is sitting here waiting to find out if I got the job. Jan 31 seems a VERY long time away, especially when my gut is telling me I didn't get it. But there is still this part of me that knows I deserve this job, that I would kick ass at this job, that this job is meant for me. So I can't help but wonder if maybe my gut is wrong, if I am just stewing in self doubt, which knowing me is entirely possible! So even though I'm not expecting to get it, I am still hoping that I will, and believe that I should. And grappling with what the hell to do with my life if I don't get it.
It is stressful playing the waiting game. Every time the phone rings at work my heart lurches. Every time the computer tells me I have a new email I get dizzy. I call my answering maching at home every hour. And just now I looked at the CFEP website and got so excited at the thought of doing this job that I could've puked! My healthy heart will not be so healthy by the end of the month - I'm sure my blood pressure is through the roof!
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1 comment:
patience, my friend, patience. the end of the month will get here fast enough. yeah, easy for me to say, eh?
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