aaahhh...sweet life.

It's a bit hard to be writing about happiness when so many people, families, countries are suffering from the devastation caused by the earthquake/tsunami's in Asia. However, what I learned from my travels overseas is that focusing on the tragedy, the pain, the suffering, the sadness, results in nothing getting done about said states of being. Crying over others' tears is an admirable show of empathy, but it doesn't take away their tears. When I say things like this, I often get criticized for being cold-hearted and self-centered. However, I have chosen a life path that introduces me to all sorts of pain in the world...being able to separate myself from the pain is part of what makes me good at what I do. I've always held these beliefs, but reading a quote on Darren's webpage made me more confident in myself:

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." -- Harold Whitman

And the past couple of days I have felt so alive. The tragedy in Asia has made me more determined than ever to move my career forward and has given me the energy to do what I need to do to accomplish that goal. I haven't had a chance yet to get nervous about my interview in Ottawa next week - I'm still too damn excited about it!

On top of all that, Shelley and I have been having a fantabulous time with each other. I have no idea what's going to happen between the two of us, but it sure is fun going through the process to find out. We went grocery shopping together the other day, and on the way were impressed by the most amazing sun dog in the sky...we could see it in two different places....and we were even more impressed that we both knew what a sun dog was. And I found myself falling for her more during our shopping excursion. I love shopping with partners to begin with, but Shelley is just damn cute. And, she doesn't tease me when I have to take 2 minutes to read the label of everything I buy, or complain when I can't find any free range eggs. She says, "No big deal, Michelle....we'll just stop somewhere else to get them." I wonder how long that patience will last!!!

Some have wondered if my joy is a result of the tremendous amount of fantastic sex I have been getting lately. And although it's true that I get a lot of it, and it is absolutely amazing (my GOD do we ever CLICK in that department!), I think a lot of the joy comes from the fact that she just lets me be me, all the time, no exceptions. I don't feel guilty when I'm grumpy or in a bad mood, and I hardly ever feel insecure with her. Sometimes I have issues with my body image, and when I do, she lets me explore those insecurities (and sometimes has to encourage me to do so). Shelley is so fit and so strong and I simply am not. But she insists I'm beautiful all around. Sigh....Things are generally light and fun between us. We laugh a lot, sometimes getting the giggles for no reason at all. And when it comes time to talk about something serious, we can switch into that mode in an instant. It's easy to be happy with her, there is simply no worries there.

We had our first hockey game of the new year tonight. We lost 6-5, but it was a pretty good game. I got 2 goals and an assist, and afterwards in the dressing room a few people commented on my playing, and it felt really good. I was struggling a bit during this game because our coach, who is usually amazing, was a bit of a snot tonight and it was pissing me off. I could have misheard him, but I thought I heard him call one of our players "ditzy" and he was not excited like he usually is, and was actually a bit critical of a lot of the time. It took all the energy I had not to tear a strip off of him. I'm sure he was just in a mood and all will be well again at our next game. Either that or he's getting a competitive streak in him. We finished off the first have of the season with something crazy like 8 wins in a row, and he asked us if we wanted to kick our goal for the season up a notch, from having fun to winning. My opinion on the matter: STICK WITH WHAT WORKS!!!! We spent the first half of the season concentrating on having fun, learning from each other and the coaches, and playing hockey for the love of the game. With this attitude, we were kicking ass and winning! Why mess with that? The girls were happy and having fun...there weren't as many smiles on the bench or in the room after this game. But hey, that's just my opinion.

Anyway, it's WAY past my bedtime....goodnight!